Thursday, October 13, 2005
The Salve
Disclaimer: I'm not drunk right now. I'm wuh..wuh..wuh...WASTED. No for real. That's never an excuse, but if I ever had one, it's that. Ok. Can we continue? Dammit you're so demanding.
Lately I've been walking around...lol...ok...let's start again.
Lately I've had the word "salve" running through my head. Over and over and over. I've probably used it one hundred and 7 teen times over the last 3 days. And I always stop to think..."salve"? For fucking real. Salve? What the fuck is a salve.
Subconciously I know what the word "salve" means. Please...I WON my 5th grade spelling bee. No...for shizzle my 2003 can't get rid of the language nizzle. Snoop D, Oh, double jizzle. For izzlanyway
Tonight I finally realized why I've been rocking this word. At one moment during my evening, I had Mariah, Kelly, and Angie all in the same room. We ALL had a drink together! The last time that happened, Tivo wasn't invented. No for shizzl-fuck u seriously.
The only thing that came between us being together was my insanely annoying diarehhea. Dia..rehea..di...diahrea, diareeha. OMG. LOL. I was a spelling champion for pete's sakes!
So I spent some time in the bathroom whatever.
After our drinks, I went over to Mariah's and had an amazing time. As you remember from last week, Mariah and I have been through major battles. When we were with each other tonight, I had to make a million jokes about it and get in my digs, because my wounds are still fresh...and unsurprisingly enough, so are hers. It was real and up front, but it was also exactly what I've missed about her.
An hour later Angie told me that we were going to a party at this random straight bar. Oh...did I say straight? I meant lame. You understand.
And that wasn't a dig at straight people. At all. It's just...why so boring? Why. So boring? "I signed us up to play darts everyone!" And the sickest part...I love darts. Wrap your brain around that one.
Ryan Reynolds has a beautiful body in the Amityville Horror remake, but I'm ironically unattracted to him. Did you get it? Ironically unattracted to him. Shit. For being drunk, I'm totally intelligent. And hot. Too much pizza, but hot.
Long story with a boner...
I end up hanging out with two of Angie's friends, had major talks and ended up back at their place. Upon which, Angie kicked her foot up and caused a massive tsunami. (You see, I went with "tsunami" cuz I thought "earthquake" was too fresh. Man, I'm like the most sensitive guy ever.
The whole point of "Salve"...lol...remember "salve" and back when it mattered?
The whole point of "salve" is that I feel healed right now. I may be lit, but I've been lit previously. And I've never felt so fulfilled.
I miss my girls and I miss our unity. I miss our..."I know you even though you don't want me to know you" looks.
We're a group. And spending 25 minutes together with Kelly, Mariah and I sharing a couch, Angie sitting across of us...
It felt like home.
Salve.
I hope I never hear that word again for the rest of my life.
Disclaimer: I'm not drunk right now. I'm wuh..wuh..wuh...WASTED. No for real. That's never an excuse, but if I ever had one, it's that. Ok. Can we continue? Dammit you're so demanding.
Lately I've been walking around...lol...ok...let's start again.
Lately I've had the word "salve" running through my head. Over and over and over. I've probably used it one hundred and 7 teen times over the last 3 days. And I always stop to think..."salve"? For fucking real. Salve? What the fuck is a salve.
Subconciously I know what the word "salve" means. Please...I WON my 5th grade spelling bee. No...for shizzle my 2003 can't get rid of the language nizzle. Snoop D, Oh, double jizzle. For izzlanyway
Tonight I finally realized why I've been rocking this word. At one moment during my evening, I had Mariah, Kelly, and Angie all in the same room. We ALL had a drink together! The last time that happened, Tivo wasn't invented. No for shizzl-fuck u seriously.
The only thing that came between us being together was my insanely annoying diarehhea. Dia..rehea..di...diahrea, diareeha. OMG. LOL. I was a spelling champion for pete's sakes!
So I spent some time in the bathroom whatever.
After our drinks, I went over to Mariah's and had an amazing time. As you remember from last week, Mariah and I have been through major battles. When we were with each other tonight, I had to make a million jokes about it and get in my digs, because my wounds are still fresh...and unsurprisingly enough, so are hers. It was real and up front, but it was also exactly what I've missed about her.
An hour later Angie told me that we were going to a party at this random straight bar. Oh...did I say straight? I meant lame. You understand.
And that wasn't a dig at straight people. At all. It's just...why so boring? Why. So boring? "I signed us up to play darts everyone!" And the sickest part...I love darts. Wrap your brain around that one.
Ryan Reynolds has a beautiful body in the Amityville Horror remake, but I'm ironically unattracted to him. Did you get it? Ironically unattracted to him. Shit. For being drunk, I'm totally intelligent. And hot. Too much pizza, but hot.
Long story with a boner...
I end up hanging out with two of Angie's friends, had major talks and ended up back at their place. Upon which, Angie kicked her foot up and caused a massive tsunami. (You see, I went with "tsunami" cuz I thought "earthquake" was too fresh. Man, I'm like the most sensitive guy ever.
The whole point of "Salve"...lol...remember "salve" and back when it mattered?
The whole point of "salve" is that I feel healed right now. I may be lit, but I've been lit previously. And I've never felt so fulfilled.
I miss my girls and I miss our unity. I miss our..."I know you even though you don't want me to know you" looks.
We're a group. And spending 25 minutes together with Kelly, Mariah and I sharing a couch, Angie sitting across of us...
It felt like home.
Salve.
I hope I never hear that word again for the rest of my life.
